Conversations with Dead People
by Pandora80
Summary: The title says it all. Just a one shot that wouldn't get out of my head. Major spoilers for DH Rated for sexual humor.


**Title:** Conversations with Dead People

**Author:** Pandora80

**Warnings:** Spoilers for DH, Some crude sexual humor.

**Disclaimer:** As I am sure you are well aware, I am not JK. I do not own Harry Potter, it's Characters, or anything really. Hell this isn't even my computer.

**AN:** This was just a strange little idea that wouldn't get out of my head. Oh, I also stole the title from an episode of Buffy. (I don't own that either)

George walked up the steps to the war memorial just like he did every Sunday. He knew that he came more then most people, but he just couldn't stay away. It was his twin's legacy after all.

He pulled the large door open and entered the white marble room. In front of him stood a large plaque, the names of all the people that had lost their lives in the war of good and evil etched into the brass. He glanced down them quickly, his eyes misting slightly when he came to Fredrick Weasley.

He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand and continued on to the door on his left. A large sign over it read "Hall of Portraits". He pulled it open and stepped through. Instantly he was met with a deathly quiet. The door had barely shut behind him when the quiet was broken by a loud voice.

"Welcome to the Hall of the Dead! Don't mind us, we're just hanging around!" The voice laughed and George couldn't help but smile.

"Merlin Weasley, that was lame." Came a rougher voice a few feet farther down.

"Then you come up with a greeting next time Sirius." Fred's voice echoed in the dim room. George looked up at the walls, and saw the portraits of all that had died in the war. He walked forward, tilting his head in a hello to the first few of people that he didn't really know.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Potter." He said as he got to their joint portrait.

"Hey there George. Told you to call me James." James was standing next to a chair, looking so much like Harry that it was almost creepy. Sitting in the chair was Lilly. She smiled and waved at George.

"Hi George, how have you been?" She asked in her soft voice.

"Not too bad, the shops going well." He said with a smile. "Harry said to say hello. He's going to bring the kids in later this week. Ginny's not feeling well today."

"Well you send them our love." Lilly said.

"And you tell him if he doesn't get his butt in here soon we will figure out how to send a howler." James added with a laugh.

Next He came to a smiling Remus Lupin, and Tonks. Remus had never looked younger, George thought, and Tonk's hair was its usual Bubble Gum pink.

"Glad to hear your doing well George." Remus said. Just then, Sirius Black came running in from the right side of the frame, his shaggy hair falling in his eyes.

"Padfoot, can't you ever stay in your own portrait?" Remus gave him a stern look.

"Gets boring down there. Don't know why I got put all the way down there next to that Creevey kid. He never shuts up. Always asking Diggory questions about Quidditch. Don't know why he cares, its not like he can play it." Sirius said with a sigh.

George laughed and continued down the hall.

"Hello Professor" George said as he got to Dumbledore.

"Ah Mr. Weasley, nice to see you again. I trust you are well."

"Yes sir." George glanced at the next portrait that was empty. "Where has Snape gone off to?"

"He went to Hogwarts to talk with Minerva today. Classes will be starting soon and she had a few questions to ask him about the new Potion's professor."

George walked a few more feet, and finally got to the portrait he had come to see. "Hey there Forge." He smiled at his brother.

"Bout time you made it down here. I was starting to think you forgot about me." Fred said with a smile.

"So how have things been?" George asked.

"Not too bad, just sitting here being dead and all." George hated it when Fred said things like that, but he knew that it must get boring.

"You know, why couldn't some hot birds have been killed in the war, then at least I'd have something nice to look at." Fred said and gave him a wink.

"HEY!" Lilly and Tonks yelled from down the hall.

"You know I didn't mean you two. But you're both married and Sirius proved that portraits can bruise."

"Yeah but that was just a lucky shot that Snivellus got in." Sirius grumbled.

"Well you shouldn't have told him that it was a shame they forgot to paint shampoo into his picture." James said with a laugh.

"So anyway, did you bring me what I asked for?" Fred asked a hopeful look on his face.

George coughed, turning a little red in the face. "No I didn't."

"Oh come one, why not?"

"Because I don't feel like standing here holding up a Playwizard magazine while you do Merlin knows what." George hissed at him.

"I just want to find out what happens. Like does white paint shoot out or what?" Fred said, without a hint of sarcasm.

"That's discussing Fred." Tonks yelled down to them.

"Oh like you and Remus never thought to try it." Fred laughed.

"That's besides the point."

"Actually nothing happens. All of the feeling, and none of the mess." Dumbledore said.

"So that's what your doing down there." Fred said, and gave a cringe.

"I may be old my boy, but I'm not dead."

"Yes you are Albus." Came a gruff voice.

"Do you always have to remind me Alastor?"

"So, anyway, I came to ask you something." George said, trying to erase the image of Dumbledore wanking.

"What can I do for you?" Fred asked.

"Well you see the thing is, Angelina has been coming into the shop a lot, and I was just wondering if it would be ok to ask her out sometime." George looked at his feet as he spoke, not sure what kind of reaction he would get.

"Angelina? As in my ex Angelina?" Fred asked.

"Yep"

Fred was quiet for a moment, his brows furrowed in thought.

"Sure, I don't see why not. Not like I can take her out." Fred said, and gave George a warm smile.

"Really? Thanks Fred. I wasn't sure if you would get angry at me."

"Oh hells no, if you think you would have a good time with her, go for it." George was relived. He really liked talking to Angelina, and it was nice to be with someone that was almost as close to Fred as he had been.

"Can you do one thing for me though?" Fred asked. "Some time when your shagging her, can you get her to yell out my name?"

"You're a sick man Fred." George said shaking his head, but laughing all the same.

"You know it." Fred smirked.

George said his goodbyes, and promised to be back the next week. As he walked out of the building, he felt light hearted. He had a date to plan.


End file.
